14 Reviews for 2014: #14 -- It's a Roundup!

Surprise!  I haven't done one of these for quite a while... I feel like I am overdue.

I'm also going to introduce new ratings systems where appropriate here.  I hope you will enjoy.  (Editor's note:  he really does not care either way.)

• Boise Cover Band - Unoriginal Artists (recorded in 2003, released in 2007).  Doug Martsch of Built to Spill put this group together.  I liked their cover of The Pretenders "Chain Gang," which is an instrumental.
  Verdict:  Using the "Yes/No" rating system, I'm going to give this one a solid "No."  (If you need further details on the nuances of this ratings system, please feel free to Comment or contact me offline.  Based on your confusion, however, I'm guessing you probably can't figure out how to do either.  But rest assured, that makes you no less valued as a reader.  And yes, I'm looking right at you, Bubba.)

• The Call - Into the Woods (1987).  Thanks to Scott, a band I've always been intrigued by but never investigated makes its way into my collection.  Is this The Call album I've always imagined I'd hear?  Great guitar, and of course, synths, synths, synths.  A very solid rock album with solid bass lines; it's a little 1980s Golden Earring-esque.  (And I MAY like Golden Earring.)  But then -- "Too Many Tears" happens.  It's on the level of "Everywhere I Go," which is high praise when you consider that I still enjoy that song after 25 years.  It's a lost classic:  epic pain, rage, and hope all combined into a strong man's rock package.
  Verdict:  "Yes."  (Not a lot of nuance with this rating system, come to think of it.)

• J Church - The Precession Of Simalacra - The Map Preceeds The Territory (1995).  I love me some J Church.  I caught on to them late, but before Lance Hahn passed away.  This one is indie grunge punk in its best simple brilliance as always.  The hooks may not be complex, but they are always catchy.  As always with J Church, there are hits and misses; here (as usual) the good outweighs the bad.
  Verdict:  Using the "Binary" rating system, I'm going to give this one a solid "110011101."  (Hint:  more 1's means I liked the album, more 0's means I didn't.  Hope you like math!) 

• Land of Talk - Applause Cheer Boo Hiss (2005).  Starting out with a hooky open will always get my attention.  These Saddle Creek Favorites are freaking good.  For some reason, when I first listened my notes read:  "I'm wicked pissed I never listened to these guys and gals earlier.  (I have no idea where this is going.)"  (Editor's note:  using the "Binary" rating system, we're going to give this last sentence a solid "0.")  Harmonies and overdubbing of vocals drive this fun rock/pop jamboree -- it's very reminiscent of Pretty Girls Make Graves.  "Speak to Me Bones" and "Summer Special" are great songs highlighting a tremendous album.  It's great music, but the vocals take this to the next level.  Think Edie Brickell combined with Scheer (gritty with great vocals).  A quintessential college/coming of age album, this (much to Mrs. Snilch Report's dismay) is going to inspire me to pursue their entire catalog.
  Verdict:  1111001111.

• Social Distortion - Hard Times and Nursery Rhymes (2011).  Southern California's punk icons are back, for the second time without founding member Dennis Danell, who passed away in 2000.  It's taken 15 years to produce two albums since the 1996 offering White Light, White Heat, White Trash, and this album is clearly a departure for them.  With fuller, more traditional arrangements (and, much to Matz's dismay, female backing vocals), this is much more an attempt at blues/rock or rockabilly/soul than at punk.  It's odd from the beginning:  starting the album with an instrumental that stands alone, followed by a cover is really odd, and honestly doesn't work.  "Machine Gun Blues" and "Alone & Forsaken" are highlight songs.  In the end, it's not bad, it's not not good, and it's not particularly memorable.
  Verdict:  110011001111001000111011010011110101010000011010100111010101000011.

• Spiritualized - Sweet Heart Sweet Light (2012).  Thanks to Andrew for this recommendation.  This is sweet (not sure where I got that adjective from) trance-like music that washes over you like a gentle spring rain.  Its lyrics, meanwhile, are actually a bit dark, which (to me at least) makes a great contrast.  I'd describe this as  "oddly laid back cacophony."
  Verdict:  Enough math; let's get more artistic.  And what could be more wicked artistic than colors?  (Editor's note:  "0.")  So I'm going to give this a rating of "yellow-green."

• Guns N' Roses - Live Era '87-'93 (1999).  One of the big points that Slash made in his autobiography is how important and treasured live albums were to him.  Thus, he said, Live Era '87-'93 was an album he really treasured putting out.  I'm not sure why.  The pretentious "Recorded Across the Universe Between 1987 and 1993" should have been a warning shot across the bow.  But, much like the idiot in the horror movie who insists on investigating that noise rather than call the authorities, I decided to move forward. The versions do not feel inspired or have that extra punch of live energy you'd expect.  "Nightrain" is bad, but the version of "Mr. Brownstone" so eviscerates the original that somewhere Jimbo is gasping for air like his twin just lost his kidney.  "It's So Easy"?  Awful.  "Welcome to the Jungle?"  Awful.  The low-tempo version of "You're Crazy?"  Awful.  Amy's favorite, "Rocket Queen?"  Awful.  "Knockin' on Heaven's Door?"  "Patience?"  The 12:30 version of "November Rain?"  Awful, awful, awful.  For God's sake... my favorite, "Sweet Child O' Mine?"  Nope, awful.  One last chance... the closer, "Paradise City."  Awful.  Awful, awful, awful, awful, awful. awful, awful.  The one word I'd use to describe this album is (of course) "terrible."
  Verdict:  I'll give this a solid "red" (as in "avoid" or as in "I am still seeing").

• Sun Dial - Reflector (1992).  Sun Dial is an interesting project, with albums often widely varying in approach (Andrew and Mark will remember "Believe in the Spaceman" from a few years ago).  The title track "Reflector" leads off -- and it's an epic rawk track.  This may be their second best album (next to 1990's Other Way Out, which Mojo went as far to call "The greatest unheard psychedelic album ever"), which is high praise.  This is a heavy album without being too heavy, and epic while remaining grounded.  There's a great base of sound here, combined with great hooks and great harmonies.  It's a very persistent album.
  Verdict:  I'll give this a "brilliant yellow" (like the sun - get it?).

• Weezer - Raditude (2009).  As The Red Album was Weezer's best since Pinkerton, it's time to take them off the "avoid" list and see if this was a one-off brilliance or a turning point.  Sure, "I'm Your Daddy" is paint by numbers classic Weezer, but if you make a great chicken fried steak, you should serve chicken fried steak.  In this case, I am happy to eat the same thing all the time.  "Put Me Back Together" may have a little Kill Hannah in it, but I like that band too.
  Verdict:  I'll give this a "blue-green" (like their album cover colors).  (Editor's note:  yes, we realize the "Color" rating started out based on a traffic-light type of system, then somehow became the sun, and now means basically nothing.  So Spiritualized and Weezer are Portable CD Case, Guns N' Roses is Pile of Death, and Sun Dial is Car CD Changer.  And for those who are too lazy to (i.e., can't) add, that number for Social D came out to "1," which means it is a CD Rack album.  We'll be back to our regularly scheduled program next time.)

- Snilch

What You Would Have Been Listening to in 1992 If You Were at College in the Northeast and Attended One of Our Parties, Including a Mention of Every Roommate I Had at That Fine Institution of Higher Learning

I have no shame.

So let's go in order of roommates from freshman to senior year, and reminisce: 

• Jimbo:  Guns 'N Roses - "Sweet Child O' Mine."  Jimbo was a man of planning and action:  he came in with a plan to play Appetite for Destruction at least once, in is entirety, every day our freshman year.   He succeeded.  "Cause worry's a waste of my --- time."  (Per Mr. Brownstone.)

• Mac:  Ziggy Marley - "Tomorrow People."  Sean showed up at school with two music cassettes -- Ziggy Marley and 10,000 Maniacs -- and a Betamax VCR, with a Pete Townsend concert and 2/3 of Trading Places.  (We found out the latter the hard way.)  If you've never heard Mac crooning "Tomorrow Pee-pal" (Ziggy) or "Shiver in Me Bones Just Tinking About the Weathah" (10,000 Maniacs), then you've missed some serious 6'5" Milton (MA) Irish soul.

• Paco:  LL Cool J - "Mama Said Knock You Out."  Paco was into a lot of current rap and hiphop at the time, which helped make the rest of us look a lot more well rounded than our Journey, Night Ranger, and Bon Jovi music collection might imply.  He also had the audacity to buy a glass table for our dorm room, which we somehow managed not to break until we tried to move it into storage at the end of the year.  Don't call it a comeback!

• Jay:  Sinead O'Connor - "Nothing Compares 2 U."  Jay had the best stereo I had ever seen, which I got to try out prior to living with him when a party was thrown on his floor my sophomore year.  For some reason, most of the partygoers decided to hang outside the dorm; Bubba and I took the far more practical route of standing next to the keg and controlling the music.  This was the hot song at the time and sounded great blasting through Jay's stereo.  Classic night and a classic song.

• Bean:  Red Hot Chili Peppers - "Suck My Kiss."  Ben's musical tastes started freshman year with  Eric Clapton and The Grateful Dead; by senior year it had evolved into Lenny Kravitz and The Red Hot Chili Peppers.  When freshmen stole Ben's hamsters, he figured out their voicemail password and horrified their parents; I think this song was playing in the background, but that could be a total lie.  The final takeaway:  partially thanks to said freshman parental horror, the hamsters were swiftly returned, and some of you learned a valuable life lesson:  don't mess with seniors.  This still puts me right back in my dorm room senior year.

• Bubba:  Anthrax - "Bring the Noise."  This was a toss up between Anthrax, Nirvana, L.A. Guns, and the Go-Go's.  If you know Bubba, you'll realize I'm not kidding.  We used to slamdance to this tune in our dorm room.  (But it was really cool, I assure you.  Not dorky at all.)  Our part of the dorm was torn down two years later due to "irreparable structural damage.  Probably a coincidence.

• BA:  Naughty by Nature - "O.P.P."  Besides being the object of adapted lyrics like "Ain't Gonna Hurt Brad's Mommy" or "I've Had Enough of Brad's Mom," BA turned his freshman obsession with Kool Moe Dee's "Go See the Doctor" into a senior year music infatuation with Naughty by Nature.  It's timeless.  Well, sort of.  Just don't ask him to dance to it.  

• TC:  The Police - "So Lonely."  Besides bringing "Safety/Doorknob" to school, Tim introduced us to the song we played at every party we ever threw.  Did it seem odd to see 10 guys chugging at a specific spot in a song that's all about loneliness?  Probably not.  Probably not.

• Salami, er, Snilch:  Bob Mould - "It's Too Late."  If you read any of my reviews, this should not be a surprise.  One of my favorite songs ever, and the one that really sparked my interest in finding great but obscure music.  And I still love it as much today as I did when it came out 21 years ago.

• Turner House:  Seal - "Crazy."  Our MWF schedule 2nd semester senior year staggered so that the five of ended up playing this album in its entirety five times a day.  We could not figure out why everyone else who lived near us hated this album, until we figured out that this was how our schedule has magically settled.  And that was in April.  A self-described mutant, Seal provided the soundtrack for our senior year.

Appearances have been altered to protect the innocent

How does this soundtrack hold up today?  Well, our focus group of three will find out this weekend.  Early odds will be that the songs will hold up just fine.  Our tolerance, on the other hand, is likely to be another matter entirely.

- Snilch

Guns N' Roses - Chinese Democracy (2008)

Oh, you had to know this was coming.

When this album finally got released, it looked like the perfect target: a bloated turkey crossing the road, iconic in its dalliance. (I know what some of those words mean.) I bought this, with high hopes to blow this ridiculous, bombastic journey to Mecca through rock's desert to pieces as I rained my sarcastic machete down on its undoubtedly subpar musical gizzard.

Let's put this in perspective: when Use Your Illusion I & II were released in 1991, Guns N' Roses was the biggest band in the world. After Appetite for Destruction and Lies (which were both in the Top 5 in 1988, the only band in the 80's to be able to say that), there were people sleeping out on sidewalks to buy the double album... er, two individual albums. Now that's gumption. And they debuted at #1 and #2 on the charts, the first band ever to see that happen.

17 years later, this is their next album of original material. Think about that. Four #1 or #2 albums to start a career... followed by 17 years off. We will never see anything like this again in our lifetime, I'll wager.

And this album... 14 years in the making. All original members except Axl Rose gone as of 1997, with multiple, wild lineup changes (18 band members total) throughout the process. The album got an official name 10 years ago. The timeline:

• 1999: song "Oh My God" released from "the forthcoming album." Axl tells reporters he has re-recorded almost the entire Appetite for Destruction album with his new band.
  
• 2001: GNR shows include songs from "the forthcoming album."
• 2002: GNR tour scheduled to support "the forthcoming album." Most of the dates are canceled.
• 2006: Axl tells reporters that the new album will be out before the end of the year. European and US tours happen. In December, new release date announced: March 6, 2007.
  
• 2007: Band announces mixing will delay release date. Australian, Mexican, and Japanese "Chinese Democracy World Tour" dates happen.
• 2008: Dr. Pepper announces plan to give everyone in America free can of Dr. Pepper if the band releases Chinese Democracy before the end of the year. Except to former guitarists Slash and Buckethead.

The most surprising thing of all was that Dr. Pepper had to pay up.

So after all of this time, all this hype, all these stops and starts, the reported $13 million spent in the studio, it finally has arrived: probably the most dissected, longest produced, most legendarily anticipated album we will see in our lifetimes. The question is: after all that, exactly how good is it?

It all depends on your perspective. If you look at this as Axl Rose's masterpiece, an album 14 years in the making, the successor to the GNR legacy... you are going to be disappointed. Very disappointed. There are very few albums that could ever live up to that kind of standard, and this one ain't it. There are no hits here, no transcendental tunes, no timeless classics. It just does not justify the amount of time spent to create it. And at times Rose's lower range sounds like a dead-on impression of the lead singer from Queensryche.

However, if you listen to this as an album by "some guy" with a revolving cast of thousands, who has a voice that still has fantastic range (possibly unparalleled for male vocalists even to today), that is meticulously produced, recorded, and mixed, it's quite good. It's a very good, well produced album.

Rose's main disadvantage here is that this album was begun before the internet, Napster, or ipods, and it sounds like he chose to ignore that trend we like to refer to as "mp3's." In the car, it sounds terrible; but loud and on the big speakers, you can hear the nuances he was going for. Unfortunately, that's not the way most people listen to music these days... and my guess is that Rose has been listening to this album in big studios, from well-appointed stereos, and in car speaker systems that cost as much as my house does.

In the end, even if this album were terrible I'd keep it -- it's a piece of history. As it is, it's good enough that I'll listen to it as well. As much as I would like to wind up and just blow this album to hell, I can't. Damn.

CD Placement Rating: This is a borderline call, but I have to acknowledge this album objectively -- it goes into the Portable CD Case. Nicely done, Axl.

- Snilch

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