I heard, however, that this album was great. And as much as I was loath to pick up this album, I at least knew that 1) it was going to be a tough sell going in, and 2) nothing would make me happier when, inevitably, I was able to tell everyone that they were wrong and that this album sucked.
Thus, I am not a very happy camper at the moment.
Because... despite my preconceived opinions and my wishes for my own happiness, this album unfortunately rules. It's just great. I am so sorry to have to say that, but it's true. It's a great album. There, I just threw up in my mouth.
Sonically, it's got a spectacular range. The piano and organ? The jazz drumming? Yes, these are both awesome. But outshining them all is fuzz-tone guitar, which is just ridiculous -- it's a great sound and one White clearly was able to amazingly lock into. It's big, fat, and thick, and expertly played throughout, particularly on "High Ball Stepper."
This album ranges from rock to country, with all expertly handled and finessed. It's got it's own pace, and you feel like it's the right one no matter what it is. The first song, "Three Women," is even a little reminiscent of Frank Zappa. There, I just threw up in my mouth again.
Jack White - "Lazaretto"
Even the lyrics aren't high-handed here. "Just One Drink" and "Alone in My Home" remind me of The Beatles' White Album. This whole situation is officially pissing me off.
Bottom line: even a hater like myself can't deny how excellent this album is, no matter how hard I try. It's just fantastic.
CD Placement Rating: Car CD Changer.
Merch Rating: I will buy this on vinyl. THIS IS NOT HAPPENING. I hate myself and what I have become.